My Strength: Esteem Builder

Question: To whom can I offer genuine praise to boost their confidence?

My Story:

For Bernice, building esteem goes beyond offering encouragement. It’s about helping others recognize their inherent strengths and potential, especially when they’ve lost sight of them. She recognizes that people can sometimes get stuck in their ways, blocking them from recognizing their true abilities that are already within them.

When managing a sales team, Bernice worked with a representative who was struggling to connect with his prospective clients. Though he was knowledgeable and well-trained, his fear of failure and self-doubt seemed to hinder his ability to actively listen to what the prospect needed, deliver on a solution, and, most importantly, be present. Despite struggling to find his confidence on his calls, he had no issue engaging and connecting with teammates and leaders around the company, oftentimes being the person that people naturally gravitated towards.

Seeing how he interacted with other coworkers and how involved he was in team meetings, sharing knowledge, Bernice realized that everything he needed was already within him - he just needed help recognizing it. In a 1:1, Bernice made it a point to highlight all the qualities that made him so special to his co-workers and herself. She shared stories about how he was compassionate, supportive, and humorous with the team, and together, they explored ways he could bring those same traits into his sales conversations. He began starting client calls with rapport, humor, and true moments of authentic connection, allowing his true personality to shine through. The shift was subtle, but powerful. His confidence grew, and his results followed.

This experience reaffirmed Bernice’s belief that building esteem is an intentional and nuanced practice, one that begins with deep listening and genuine curiosity. It’s easy to overlook someone’s potential when relying on surface impressions, but when you take the time to understand who they are truly, you can help them break through limitations and step fully into their strengths.

To Bernice, this strength is a quiet yet transformative force, one that creates space for others to grow, discover their confidence, and believe in themselves, especially when the stakes are high.

“Esteem building is about helping someone recognize the strengths and potential within themselves, especially when they’re having a hard time seeing it on their own.”

- Bernice Lo